Dismissive Attachment Dating During Crisis: A Learning Story

7 min readMar 5, 2024
Photo of myself in less gory stage after accident.

PSA: Manage expectations.

Expect it to be about them.

Don’t expect support. Or Care.

Unless someone is watching.

You don’t realize this but, at least from my experience, the Dismissive Avoidant partner comes with a bolstering community around them in order to make sure they have their skewed views validated.

And those folks who choose to be part of it are way more important than you.

They are the ones that keep the DA’s rationale confirmed. If they lose those folks than they have to come face to face with reality.

See here the following example:

Him: ‘Got these [Photos] from xxx today, you really don’t need to share this kind of thing with everyone.’.

Me: ‘What the fuck? She sent him those? It was about my accident. Who the fuck is this woman? I would never do that to another chick. XXX has no right to see my scars’.

‘But thanks for letting me know. I’m now mortified.’.

Him: ‘She’s not representing you, you shouldn’t send that to anyone’.




Female startup founder. MBTI enthusiast. INTJ. Passion for research and making sense of the world, optimization and supporting others journeys.