Phoenix’s Don’t Always Rise.

6 min readNov 20, 2020

Right away.

I used to love the idea of the analogy of the that Phoenix which Mr. Hughes puts forward in his article How to Let Go of an Old Life.

The problem is that the lovely utopia of being expunged of the destroyed prior work choice isn’t a feel friendly movie like we crave it to be.

I’ll explain.

Years ago, I was brought forward to take a leadership course for progression through the ranks at that job. One of the speakers presented such a prolific story of her unexpected path that it imprinted in my mind during a siege of otherwise benign stories meant to ignite our young, leader-esque mindsets.

She was strange. Though her life now was leadership coaching, she shared how she rose up through the hypermasculinity of the airforce to become a fighter pilot. In my head, I’m wondering why she didn’t just park there in that revered role. I mean, come on — what person wouldn’t love to be the female Top Gun idealization for the rest of her life? Exercise her various capacities of physical and mental excellence until she decided to hang up her jumpsuit for a tidy pension and her next gig.

She worked her ass off to get to that marquis role. And that’s it? You just drop it to go…




Female startup founder. MBTI enthusiast. INTJ. Passion for research and making sense of the world, optimization and supporting others journeys.