Member-only story
‘Should’ is so bad it ‘should’ be banned from all vernacular.
The word should is defined as:
Used as an auxiliary verb, to express a conditional or contingent act or state, or as a supposition of an actual fact; also, to express moral obligation
‘Should’ is innocently segued into people’s inner and outer dialogues. Think about it:
I should have seen that coming.
I should have been a better person.
It shouldn’t have turned out this way.
He should have known what I wanted.
She knew what was going on. She should have been there for me.
But:
You didn’t.
You weren’t.
It did.
He didn’t know.
She didn’t know.
‘Should’ allows us to live with that warm, negative filter which keeps us in situations that would be clearly unpalatable without it.
‘Should’ ensures that intimacy is elusive because intimacy requires the conversations that ‘should’ stands in place for. ‘Should’ speaks on behalf of the Other.
The problem with ‘should’ is that it adds the artificial buffer that we humans require at times in…
